Year of YES! (and NO)

Hi Everyone!
I know, I know. You don't want to hear the excuses. Lol, you have, indeed, heard them ALL before. All I can say is that, life got real "life-y" again. This summer was full of ups and downs. Writers block and overflow. Smiles, tears, pain, and peace. In all of that, I am finding it so necessary to take care OF MYSELF. This is something I find so hard to do and half the time, I'm not even sure why. It's strange. You can ask me to move an entire mountain for anyone I love. In seconds my boots will be strapped and my arms up and ready. But ask me to take a nap, or turn off my phone for an hour, or write a freeing blog post...and I'm like: "Hold on Girl. Where do you think I'm going to get the time to do alladat?!"

It is a problem that countless Black Women face, and it is killing us y'all. I have learned so much about self care, my own mental capacity, and depression this summer. I would be remised if I did not share my journey with those who have always been by my side. Now this is not to say, "Oh look how much I've healed. Look how free I am." Let's face it. I am in the thick of a Revelation. But God has made it apparent to me that a life not focused on Him and His plans for me, is a life tossed to the wayside. God built the whole wide world and found room to rest...Who do I think I am? A savior?

NO!

My name is Kiersten Brydie.
(Everyone join in and say "Hi Kiersten")
I am a 22-year old student, content creator and dreamer.
I struggle and suppress my emotions.
I am often times happy.
I am often times sad.
Monday, is my LAST, first day of undergrad.
No, I do not know what will follow.
No, I do not HAVE my whole life plan at 22.
(I would also be happy if you didn't ask)
This, indeed, is my Year of YES!
IT IS ALSO MY YEAR OF NO.

I say YES!
To the dreams
To the leaps on faith
To happiness
To time spent laughing
To days full of friends
To the fear
To the pain
To depression...
I see it.
I recognize it.
I am
I do
I can
I make
I love

I say NO
To all the shit I've been doing for everyone else
To the guilt because of that
To the judgment
To the fear that stops me
To the pain that engulfs me
To depression that does not allow me to share...
I see it.
I recognize it.
I still am
I still  do
I still  can
I still  make
I still love

This is me. This is not all of me. This is who I chose to show. I am a flawed. I am, at times, broken. I am sad. I am carrying weight. I am free. I am healed in this moment. I am healing. I am all the things.
The overcome. The victory. The war.
I am Love.
I am of God.
And by His strips, we are healed.

Stay Happy....Scratch That.
Smile, and if you can't. Cry.
You are worthy.

With so much of my true love,
~Naturallykbiggie

Dance Will ALWAYS Be Life

And this is truer than true. No matter how far I have strayed, Dance will always be at the core of who I am.

Dance has taught me more about myself and this world than I can put into one single blog post. 

I'm grateful for the late nights and early mornings. 

For the bruised toes.

For sprained ankles. 

Tendinitis.

Rotation.

Concussions.

(Yes, concussions.)

Blood. Sweat. And literal tears.

For it all.

One thing for sure, dance is not easy. That's not why we do it. There are no easy claims to fame. No fast money. And often times it can be a world full of rejection.

But we are FREE here. 

I say "here" and it can be kind of confusing, being that I don't really study dance any more. I'm not actively taking classes or performing, and to be honest I don't even remember the last time I thoroughly stretched. But every single time a song comes on, I'm moving inside. 

Every time, I want to give up on a simple task I hear the words of all of my former teacher-loves cheering me on; reminding me that complacency never gets cast. 

People who give up don't see the bouquet of roses. 

And that no matter what, you dance through it all.

From house lights to curtains, you leave your entire soul on the stage and for one moment you are both completely empty and drastically full.

For that moment, it is all worth it and you are breathing with your favorite song.

Dance has taught me that perseverance is the only way to make the curtsy worthwhile.

So even when times are tough, when the work is piling, the interviews are plenty, but callbacks are few...when it seems the easiest thing to do is fall and stay there,

Remember that, we have danced our entire life here.

The beauty is coming.

The beauty is here.

It's in the dance.