For when you are 14 years old and trying to find your place in this world,
First things first,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
I know you don't think you are beautiful enough. I know you're growing tired of hearing it from all your parent's friends and not enough from the people who matter, like the silly boys at school, but you are beautiful. And what I'm about to say may be the greatest lesson you'll ever learn:
No one can see you like you see you.
No one can love on you the way you can love on you.
You are your greatest treasure.
Delicate. Strong. Full of intricacies that not every one can water.
You control the nozzle.
YOU control who you allow to flow in and out of your garden + how roughly they may stampede on your flowers.
YOU are gatekeeper.
Next up,
One day, no time soon but still not too far in the future, you will soak in the sun. You will not be afraid of the aftermath of her rays.
I don't know who taught you that dark skin is not beautiful. I am begging you to unlearn it.
You will spend too many daylights hiding inside.
You have spent too many mornings afraid to look in the mirror for fear of finding darker flesh.
One day, you will learn of the beautiful Africa still living in your melanin. You will learn that you cannot whitewash a colored masterpiece.
You will taste your own skin and hum that song everyone sang to you.
The one about dark berries and sweet juice.
One day you will believe it.
Lastly, For now,
I know of the book of poems you have written and how you're afraid to share them because "Who listens to teenage girls?"
I know, by now, that you have written at least 50 stories on what it's like to be a little black girl from Stone Mountain, Georgia.
I want you to keep writing, baby girl.
You will soon know of the power you posses. Your words will heal friends, broken hearts, shattered homes. Your words will heal yourself.
I don't know how your story ends. I am still writing.
But here's a spoiler:
One day, when you're 21 + a senior in college + a smart mouth with a lot to say, you will change the entire world around you. You may not notice at first, but then you'll start to realize how close you've grown with your parents, how friends come to you for love and advice, and how the world just doesn't seem as big around you.
I want you to know that this paradigm shift all started with you LOVING YOURSELF FIRST.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
365 Day Shameless Journey
I don't think you all are ready for the magic that is about to happen!
For the past year or so, I have watched ShamelessMaya on YouTube, followed her journey, + watched her grow. She has inspired me to start my own SHAMELESS journey.
Now being shameless means something different to every person. To me, being shameless means being YOU 100%. It means not allowing fear to stand in the way of your dreams. It means dreaming BIG. I mean, think of some far off desire, something you care barely imagine and multiply that times 100. Now reach for that dream. Keep reaching, despite all the haters, despite all the preconceived notions, despite all the stereotypes, and despite all of your fear of failure. Reaaaaacchhhhh a little more. Now, grab it.
THAT IS SHAMELESS.
On my journey, I want to discover myself. Now I am already pretty sure of who I am, but I think it's by default. I've lived in this bubble of, this is the way the world wants you to be so this is how you are. And I've accepted it for so long. It is time for me to travel, try new foods, live in an igloo. Shoot whatever it is, it's time for me to be 100% shameless in my pursuit of myself.
I am so excited. I'm kind of bubbling right now. I, of course, want to bring you all along on my 365 day shameless journey to share and inspire you all to live for yourself in hopes that we can all #GetShameless together!
Here is a small list of some of my goals for my journey:
-GRADUATE!!
-WRITE A BOOK
-Go camping, not "glamping" but seriously camping
-Travel outside of the United States
-Compete in a poetry slam
-Join my university's Communication Honor Society
-Buy a camera + document life
-Go to a concert by myself
-Dance in the rain
-Be an extra in a movie or TV show
-Change the World!
And the list will go on and on and on...
August 5th, 2015 is the start of a journey that I pray will turn into a lifestyle. Today is monumental. 365 days from now I hope to look back on all I've learned and smile at who I've become.
LET'S GO!
For the past year or so, I have watched ShamelessMaya on YouTube, followed her journey, + watched her grow. She has inspired me to start my own SHAMELESS journey.
Now being shameless means something different to every person. To me, being shameless means being YOU 100%. It means not allowing fear to stand in the way of your dreams. It means dreaming BIG. I mean, think of some far off desire, something you care barely imagine and multiply that times 100. Now reach for that dream. Keep reaching, despite all the haters, despite all the preconceived notions, despite all the stereotypes, and despite all of your fear of failure. Reaaaaacchhhhh a little more. Now, grab it.
THAT IS SHAMELESS.
On my journey, I want to discover myself. Now I am already pretty sure of who I am, but I think it's by default. I've lived in this bubble of, this is the way the world wants you to be so this is how you are. And I've accepted it for so long. It is time for me to travel, try new foods, live in an igloo. Shoot whatever it is, it's time for me to be 100% shameless in my pursuit of myself.
I am so excited. I'm kind of bubbling right now. I, of course, want to bring you all along on my 365 day shameless journey to share and inspire you all to live for yourself in hopes that we can all #GetShameless together!
Here is a small list of some of my goals for my journey:
-GRADUATE!!
-WRITE A BOOK
-Go camping, not "glamping" but seriously camping
-Travel outside of the United States
-Compete in a poetry slam
-Join my university's Communication Honor Society
-Buy a camera + document life
-Go to a concert by myself
-Dance in the rain
-Be an extra in a movie or TV show
-Change the World!
And the list will go on and on and on...
August 5th, 2015 is the start of a journey that I pray will turn into a lifestyle. Today is monumental. 365 days from now I hope to look back on all I've learned and smile at who I've become.
LET'S GO!
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Grand Libraries -- #SelfCareAugust
"My name is Kiersten Brydie.
I am 21 years old.
I stand 5 feet 11 inches tall.
I have dark skin, coily hair,
and an unnatural obsession with the way words line pages
and turn empty space into grand libraries.
I am a grand library,
and what I've learned is that I have to be my own book keeper.
Dust off old passion pages,
Write new ones when it is time,
And throw out literature that no longer makes me move.
Everyone doesn't deserve a library card.
The devil may come dressed up as the most avid reader,
but I have learned the difference between fiction and reality.
I am learning to stock my bookshelf with more books about me.
I am learning that reading them daily is like watering plants,
necessary for abundant growth.
I am learning to out grow my library.
Finding that fear of knowledge unknown is the only thing that's kept my warehouse so small.
I am moving all my books,
taking all my treasures and relocating to the grandest library.
Not everyone is invited to spend time here.
Some may frequent the old warehouse searching for the new me.
I am busy decorating,
too consumed with finding new words to write new books all about me.
I now understand why tiny librarians take their job so seriously.
They are protecting all they've ever had,
all their stories,
all the poems they've spent nights etching into skin.
So Am I."
-Naturallykbiggie, Grand Libraries
I am 21 years old.
I stand 5 feet 11 inches tall.
I have dark skin, coily hair,
and an unnatural obsession with the way words line pages
and turn empty space into grand libraries.
I am a grand library,
and what I've learned is that I have to be my own book keeper.
Dust off old passion pages,
Write new ones when it is time,
And throw out literature that no longer makes me move.
Everyone doesn't deserve a library card.
The devil may come dressed up as the most avid reader,
but I have learned the difference between fiction and reality.
I am learning to stock my bookshelf with more books about me.
I am learning that reading them daily is like watering plants,
necessary for abundant growth.
I am learning to out grow my library.
Finding that fear of knowledge unknown is the only thing that's kept my warehouse so small.
I am moving all my books,
taking all my treasures and relocating to the grandest library.
Not everyone is invited to spend time here.
Some may frequent the old warehouse searching for the new me.
I am busy decorating,
too consumed with finding new words to write new books all about me.
I now understand why tiny librarians take their job so seriously.
They are protecting all they've ever had,
all their stories,
all the poems they've spent nights etching into skin.
So Am I."
-Naturallykbiggie, Grand Libraries
Monday, August 3, 2015
#SelfCareAugust
"We are handed heavy things.
Sometimes it is a first love.
Or a hearty laugh.
Or a sleepless night.
Other times it is a shattered rainbow.
There will be days when your arms are not big or strong enough to cradle all things at once.
When this time comes,
drop one.
Shit drop them all and hold yourself.
I am too familiar with everyone else's struggle and not enough of my own warmth.
This is for colored girls, with shattered rainbows, searching for beauty in her wreckage.
Brush aside the rubble, sweep away the debris.
Behold.
You are still standing"
-Naturallykbiggie, The Monument That Grew From Wreckage
Hi Guys!
I am so happy to be back writing to you. I've missed sharing so much!
I am participating in #SelfCareAugust. Self Care is different for everyone, but for me it is particularly important.
Being a writer/poet and being involved in movement work is a very, very heavy load to carry. Over the past few months, I have found myself so angry. I mean mad, upset, popping off for no reason and it really isn't until recently that I realized I am allowing so much grief to build up inside of me. I have not been taking care of myself. Even in my outlet, poetry, I have allowed so much anger to infiltrate my space.
My daddy even recently asked me why all of my poems were so heavy.
To solve that and heal myself, I am using #SelfCareAugust as a challenge for me to write one new poem every day about the beauty of just loving on myself. I have never done a poetry challenge before, but I am so happy I have placed this one on myself. This August, my self care will be me finding new ways to love, express, and give to myself.
Of course, I'll be sharing some of my poems with you guys, so stay tuned for tons of love.
Please, pulease, take care of yourselves.
You deserve all the love you have to give.
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy.
~Naturallykbiggie
Sometimes it is a first love.
Or a hearty laugh.
Or a sleepless night.
Other times it is a shattered rainbow.
There will be days when your arms are not big or strong enough to cradle all things at once.
When this time comes,
drop one.
Shit drop them all and hold yourself.
I am too familiar with everyone else's struggle and not enough of my own warmth.
This is for colored girls, with shattered rainbows, searching for beauty in her wreckage.
Brush aside the rubble, sweep away the debris.
Behold.
You are still standing"
-Naturallykbiggie, The Monument That Grew From Wreckage
Hi Guys!
I am so happy to be back writing to you. I've missed sharing so much!
I am participating in #SelfCareAugust. Self Care is different for everyone, but for me it is particularly important.
Being a writer/poet and being involved in movement work is a very, very heavy load to carry. Over the past few months, I have found myself so angry. I mean mad, upset, popping off for no reason and it really isn't until recently that I realized I am allowing so much grief to build up inside of me. I have not been taking care of myself. Even in my outlet, poetry, I have allowed so much anger to infiltrate my space.
My daddy even recently asked me why all of my poems were so heavy.
To solve that and heal myself, I am using #SelfCareAugust as a challenge for me to write one new poem every day about the beauty of just loving on myself. I have never done a poetry challenge before, but I am so happy I have placed this one on myself. This August, my self care will be me finding new ways to love, express, and give to myself.
Of course, I'll be sharing some of my poems with you guys, so stay tuned for tons of love.
Please, pulease, take care of yourselves.
You deserve all the love you have to give.
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy.
~Naturallykbiggie
Monday, July 20, 2015
From Rock Bottom to Fertile Ground
I've learned that rock bottom is different for everyone.
I use to trick myself into believing that I've never known pain because my symptoms were different.
They didn't hurt any less.
The bruises weren't any more beautiful.
I didn't know beautiful.
I didn't know she lived inside me, didn't know she was the clawing in my throat begging me to use my voice.
Beauty was one shade.
Dark and lonely,
And searching for compassion in the hearts of all the wrong people.
Rock bottom is a lot darker than they say in the books.
Much like my skin and midnight.
The movies don't tell you about loosing yourself.
Don't tell you that you will find yourself in the same places you left her.
I lost her.
Every carefree laugh.
All the songs and dances.
My poems.
Every beautiful thing I've always been.
I lost her.
It took so long to find her, and when I did she was unrecongnizable.
She was frail, growing smaller with years of me telling her not to speak.
Not to shine.
Not to grow.
I water her everyday now.
Whisper love into her pedals and turn old soil into fertile ground.
You feel broken now.
But you will soon find someone.
And they will decorate your tears as beautiful.
Paint the pain into battle wounds that only you had the strength to live through.
They will smooth the edges that have been roughed over time and time again.
Somehow you will find someone, who will never make you feel shattered again.
I pray that someone is yourself.
I use to trick myself into believing that I've never known pain because my symptoms were different.
They didn't hurt any less.
The bruises weren't any more beautiful.
I didn't know beautiful.
I didn't know she lived inside me, didn't know she was the clawing in my throat begging me to use my voice.
Beauty was one shade.
Dark and lonely,
And searching for compassion in the hearts of all the wrong people.
Rock bottom is a lot darker than they say in the books.
Much like my skin and midnight.
The movies don't tell you about loosing yourself.
Don't tell you that you will find yourself in the same places you left her.
I lost her.
Every carefree laugh.
All the songs and dances.
My poems.
Every beautiful thing I've always been.
I lost her.
It took so long to find her, and when I did she was unrecongnizable.
She was frail, growing smaller with years of me telling her not to speak.
Not to shine.
Not to grow.
I water her everyday now.
Whisper love into her pedals and turn old soil into fertile ground.
You feel broken now.
But you will soon find someone.
And they will decorate your tears as beautiful.
Paint the pain into battle wounds that only you had the strength to live through.
They will smooth the edges that have been roughed over time and time again.
Somehow you will find someone, who will never make you feel shattered again.
I pray that someone is yourself.
Monday, July 13, 2015
A Colored Girl's Song
Ain't nothing like the tears a colored girl sheds.
Ain't nothing like being three-fifths a man when you ain't one, searching for your fraction to call home. Your borrow to nestle into and be comforted by the affirmations that you are at least something.
Not one thing saltier than the rivers we flow. Than the rivers we drown in daily. Than the very streams we fill to the brim, but ain't nobody searching for colored girls. We're shh'd into midnight stories as fable as black superwoman. When we go missing, don't nobody lift a finger. Don't nobody call the police. They ain't listening no ways, 'specially not for no brown girl body.
We ain't bodies. Bodies ain't ours.
We enter rooms by invitation. Cook your meals. Clean your home, but where's a colored girls home?
Where we sing?
Where we dance, and shout, and praise?
Where we human? Where we home?
Colored girls ain't got no home. Only too deep skin. Only flesh far too resembling of blood and night.
Tonight we stand colored girls. We link like chains, and we be woman as much as we be colored and we be colored as much as we be woman.
Don't you make us choose which fence we straddle on today. We spent far too much time with our legs shoved open. Who built them through our backs in the first place?
Our backs been bent for years.
Grandma ain't never stood straight.
We kneel to let you get a better seat.
How life look from up there?
Colored girls ain't seen life head on. Only pain and sorrow. Only the soles of boots knocking our faces in.
And we keep passing down this same colored girl blues. We sing it without knowing.
How I learn this song?
How the words morph into my skin like tattoos?
How they taste like home already?
How my mouth already taped shut?
I barely had the chance to use it, but I use it now.
We spit color into your ears. Pray it rings like fight and stings like fire.
Colored girls know fire. We been the first ones to feel his burns. And we burn. We been burnt.
Had fire extinguishers blown through our souls.
We immune now. Try again.
We the toughest things you'd ever wish to get rid of.
But here we are.
Colored girls.
Singing our colored girl blues. Crying our colored girl tears.
Knowing this life ain't meant to cradle souls like ours. Flesh like ours.
But we be here, anyhow.
We be colored, anyhow.
You've tried for centuries to blow us away. But we be colored trees.
Roots planted so deep and you can't see pass the soil.
We be brown and black. And yellow and red.
And all the colors of all the rainbows.
And you just can't silence a colored girl's song.
Ain't nothing like being three-fifths a man when you ain't one, searching for your fraction to call home. Your borrow to nestle into and be comforted by the affirmations that you are at least something.
Not one thing saltier than the rivers we flow. Than the rivers we drown in daily. Than the very streams we fill to the brim, but ain't nobody searching for colored girls. We're shh'd into midnight stories as fable as black superwoman. When we go missing, don't nobody lift a finger. Don't nobody call the police. They ain't listening no ways, 'specially not for no brown girl body.
We ain't bodies. Bodies ain't ours.
We enter rooms by invitation. Cook your meals. Clean your home, but where's a colored girls home?
Where we sing?
Where we dance, and shout, and praise?
Where we human? Where we home?
Colored girls ain't got no home. Only too deep skin. Only flesh far too resembling of blood and night.
Tonight we stand colored girls. We link like chains, and we be woman as much as we be colored and we be colored as much as we be woman.
Don't you make us choose which fence we straddle on today. We spent far too much time with our legs shoved open. Who built them through our backs in the first place?
Our backs been bent for years.
Grandma ain't never stood straight.
We kneel to let you get a better seat.
How life look from up there?
Colored girls ain't seen life head on. Only pain and sorrow. Only the soles of boots knocking our faces in.
And we keep passing down this same colored girl blues. We sing it without knowing.
How I learn this song?
How the words morph into my skin like tattoos?
How they taste like home already?
How my mouth already taped shut?
I barely had the chance to use it, but I use it now.
We spit color into your ears. Pray it rings like fight and stings like fire.
Colored girls know fire. We been the first ones to feel his burns. And we burn. We been burnt.
Had fire extinguishers blown through our souls.
We immune now. Try again.
We the toughest things you'd ever wish to get rid of.
But here we are.
Colored girls.
Singing our colored girl blues. Crying our colored girl tears.
Knowing this life ain't meant to cradle souls like ours. Flesh like ours.
But we be here, anyhow.
We be colored, anyhow.
You've tried for centuries to blow us away. But we be colored trees.
Roots planted so deep and you can't see pass the soil.
We be brown and black. And yellow and red.
And all the colors of all the rainbows.
And you just can't silence a colored girl's song.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Stigmas That Need Demolishing
Hi everyone!
So my mind has been running like crazy lately. I believe I've reached a higher level of thinking and for that, I am so grateful. I've been thinking of new ways to combat stigmas that I will undoubtedly face as a black womyn. (WoMYN; is a non traditional spelling of women. It's used by modern feminists to avoid ending the word with "men".) We are plagued with numerous stereotypes and not only have I decided that I won't fall victim to them, I am taking it upon myself to debunk them all together.
That is a heavy weight, I know. But what is life, if not adventure and challenge.
Okay. Let's debunk the notion that womyn NEED a man to be complete. PUHLEASE!
"What's a Queen without a King?"
A QUEEN. A GODDESS. Whole and complete in her own being.
Sayings like this argue that womyn are not an entire entity until she meets a man who will come along save her. Then and only then will her life and her Self be complete.
Trash that Notion!
We are Queens far before we meet our partners and we will shine as Queens far after they leave. Stop teaching little girls that they need a man for their lives to hold value. That is damaging, cut it out.
Can we also stop telling girls that boys are mean to them because they like them!
I don't think parents realize how damaging that is. You are teaching little girls that pain and aggression are synonymous with love and beauty. So yes, the third grade school boy may be mean to your daughter because he likes her. But what happens when she grows up and the high school boy ignores her, when her college boyfriend pushes her, when her fiance slaps the smile from her skin? She has grown up thinking that these actions means he loves her, so she stays. She stays in these unhealthy relationships because that is all shes been taught.
Trash that Notion!
As parents, caregivers, mentors, big sisters, whatever our role may be...we have a responsibility to teach our girls self love and self value. Be careful of the language you choose.
This one really grinds my gears, and I know there will be Aunties and Godmothers who disagree, but there is NO SUCH THING as ladylike. That is a social construct that some man came up with, and we have been passing it through generations for centuries.
Womyn don't have to be petite, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to shave, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to wear make up, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to be quiet and meek and gentle, to be any more womyn.
Trash that Notion!
YOU ARE ALREADY WOMYN ENOUGH. You don't have to try to morph who you are into these stereotypes the world tries to shove down your throat. You are beautiful, in all that you are..in all that you choose to be.
And again, as sisters we HAVE to stop shaming our sisters for their choices. Believe it or not, what another sister does with her body, does not effect you. So let her live and shine, and I promise you will do the same.
These are just a few Stigmas That Need Demolishing. There are plenty more that push my buttons, but I can literally write a novel..
(Which is something I'm really looking into, so stay tuned.)
We each have a role. My role is my voice. My tool, my weapon, my arsenal is my voice. I ask you what is your role? Will you continue to survive in this misogynist world, full of angry stereotypes, or will you join me in debunking them?
Sister and Brothers what is you role?
Start talking and Trash that Notion!
Comment some other stigmas below. I really want to talk to you guys!
As always, thank you So SO much for reading. Writing and sharing makes me feel so happy and free. I feel like I am Home, here.
Until next time,
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy.
~Naturallykbiggie
So my mind has been running like crazy lately. I believe I've reached a higher level of thinking and for that, I am so grateful. I've been thinking of new ways to combat stigmas that I will undoubtedly face as a black womyn. (WoMYN; is a non traditional spelling of women. It's used by modern feminists to avoid ending the word with "men".) We are plagued with numerous stereotypes and not only have I decided that I won't fall victim to them, I am taking it upon myself to debunk them all together.
That is a heavy weight, I know. But what is life, if not adventure and challenge.
Okay. Let's debunk the notion that womyn NEED a man to be complete. PUHLEASE!
"What's a Queen without a King?"
A QUEEN. A GODDESS. Whole and complete in her own being.
Sayings like this argue that womyn are not an entire entity until she meets a man who will come along save her. Then and only then will her life and her Self be complete.
Trash that Notion!
We are Queens far before we meet our partners and we will shine as Queens far after they leave. Stop teaching little girls that they need a man for their lives to hold value. That is damaging, cut it out.
Can we also stop telling girls that boys are mean to them because they like them!
I don't think parents realize how damaging that is. You are teaching little girls that pain and aggression are synonymous with love and beauty. So yes, the third grade school boy may be mean to your daughter because he likes her. But what happens when she grows up and the high school boy ignores her, when her college boyfriend pushes her, when her fiance slaps the smile from her skin? She has grown up thinking that these actions means he loves her, so she stays. She stays in these unhealthy relationships because that is all shes been taught.
Trash that Notion!
As parents, caregivers, mentors, big sisters, whatever our role may be...we have a responsibility to teach our girls self love and self value. Be careful of the language you choose.
This one really grinds my gears, and I know there will be Aunties and Godmothers who disagree, but there is NO SUCH THING as ladylike. That is a social construct that some man came up with, and we have been passing it through generations for centuries.
Womyn don't have to be petite, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to shave, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to wear make up, to be any more womyn.
Womyn don't have to be quiet and meek and gentle, to be any more womyn.
Trash that Notion!
YOU ARE ALREADY WOMYN ENOUGH. You don't have to try to morph who you are into these stereotypes the world tries to shove down your throat. You are beautiful, in all that you are..in all that you choose to be.
And again, as sisters we HAVE to stop shaming our sisters for their choices. Believe it or not, what another sister does with her body, does not effect you. So let her live and shine, and I promise you will do the same.
These are just a few Stigmas That Need Demolishing. There are plenty more that push my buttons, but I can literally write a novel..
(Which is something I'm really looking into, so stay tuned.)
We each have a role. My role is my voice. My tool, my weapon, my arsenal is my voice. I ask you what is your role? Will you continue to survive in this misogynist world, full of angry stereotypes, or will you join me in debunking them?
Sister and Brothers what is you role?
Start talking and Trash that Notion!
Comment some other stigmas below. I really want to talk to you guys!
As always, thank you So SO much for reading. Writing and sharing makes me feel so happy and free. I feel like I am Home, here.
Until next time,
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy.
~Naturallykbiggie
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